Who authors our destiny?

Oprah says you’re growing into who you’re supposed to be; I’ve believed for a long time that we choose our own fate. We make our own plan. Kind of like our soul looking through a book and picking destinations to visit in life. I believe in reincarnation. Our soul comes back and gets another chance…

She died from cancer

Imagine we spoke about murder victims the way we speak about cancer deaths. "She lost her battle to her murderer." "She was brave but succumbed to murder." "She fought hard but lost her fight to her killer." Sound strange right? Well that's because it incorrectly puts accountability on the victim, like there was something she…

The Stigma of Cervical Cancer

The Human Papillomavirus (HPV) causes nearly all cases of cervical cancer but why is it taboo to talk about? Because one way to spread it is through sexual contact. Sex icckk. We don't want to "go there" with our family, especially not our sons and daughters. One argument is that it promotes sexual activity. If…

Time is on your side

"Time is on your side" so The Rolling Stones say. But when you have a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, it’s doesn’t feel that way. It’s hard to make plans for the future. It’s easy to make plans for the weekend. Friends are attending a gala in 5 months. We all need to chip in now…

When love hurts

A therapist told me I have to grieve the loss of my father. Except the thing is my dad is still alive. My dad has a severe case of bipolar depression. He started showing symptoms when I was 6. For me, the saddest part is that I don’t remember him before he got sick. I’m…

Politicians, please stay out of my bedroom

It's easy to force our beliefs on others. Eat less meat. Recycle. Walk instead of drive. But is it right to tell them what to do with their bodies? The simple answer is yes. We do it all the time. Seatbelt laws tell us to buckle up or we will be fined. Smoking bans tell…

When we overlook our mental health

When a surgeon removes part of your brain, statistics reveal what will likely be affected (e.g., speech, movement) because different areas relate to different tasks. My brain tumour was in my occipital lobe, which is your vision centre, so going into surgery I knew that there was a 95% chance I would lose my right…

How not to give advice

I've written about giving advice before (Dishing out cancer advice) and I realize that a blog post giving advice on how not to give advice seems a bit hypocritical, but bear with me. We encounter advice all the time, especially unsolicited advice, and as cancer patients, the amount of advice we receive seem relentless. The…

Love takes courage

Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday, usually focused on romantic love.  But I wanted to write about love that is more universal.  Courage is a word that comes to mind when I think of love.  Wearing your heart on your sleeve.  Heartbroken.  Lovesick.  That's the downside.  But it takes courage to love.  To love people,…

Open your door to your village

A neighbour met me on the sidewalk and shared that her spouse has bone cancer and will be having surgery. My first thought was, "Rally the neighbourhood. Let's pitch in with food and fun ways to pass the time, like scratch tickets (which I always lose!)." She was whispering the news in a hushed voice…